Absolution - Chapter 1

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I’d had it.

I simply could not take a moment more of this unforgivable torture. I simply. Could. Not.

I had said goodbye to Renee this morning before leaving for school, not realizing then that it would be a final goodbye, as I had only just now made my decision.

Her bags had stood in the entryway, my father standing at her side, keys in hand and ready to take his ex-wife to the airport in Port Angeles. Despite her failed attempt at trying to persuade me to leave Forks and come with her to Florida, I couldn’t help but note the relief in her eyes at the fact that I had refused so vehemently (an understatement; I had thrown a full, blown-out tantrum). Who would want to be responsible for a crazy, depressed, teenage girl? I know I sure wouldn’t.

Even so, it still hurt to know that my own mother didn’t even want me. And it had hurt worse knowing that my father was the one who had convinced her to try and get me to leave Forks, meaning that he obviously didn’t want me either.

Just like someone else who hadn’t wanted me.

I shuddered, wrenching myself away from that knowledge.

I didn’t blame them at all for feeling the way they did…

…but it still hurt.

This pain, so similar, so different, was what rattled me out of my trance-like state this day, and as I arrived at school I suddenly noticed that everyone – my once friends – were ignoring me. No, not ignoring, avoiding.

I had realized the latter on the way to Calculus, the second class of the day.

I had been walking down the hall from my Spanish class, when Jessica Stanley had come around the corner from the opposite end of the hall. She had come to a screeching halt as soon as we locked eyes, took one look at me, then at the Calculus class door (we shared this class), and turned around, walking away – opting to go all the way around the school and be counted tardy just to avoid being near me.

Throughout third and fourth period I noticed the others doing the same thing. Only Angela would willingly be near me, but I could see that it made her uncomfortable to do so.

And then came lunch.

Everyone had gotten their lunch and was seated before I was. For the first time since—

Well, either way, today I was hungry and I took my time choosing what I was going to have. Now that I looked at it, it was kind of funny, on an ironic level that school cafeteria food would make up my last meal.

I ultimately decided on macaroni and cheese with an apple, and then headed toward my regular table where the others were already convened talking animatedly about some new movie or something.

As soon as I had sat down, everyone became quiet and, one by one, they all got up with their trays and migrated to a different table on the opposite end of the cafeteria. Everyone but Angela. I had stared after them, shocked… and hurt.

I had quickly glanced toward my right, where Angela was sitting, and noticed that this act by the others hadn’t fazed her in the least; she simply continued to eat her sandwich as if nothing had just happened. And with a very unpleasant jolt, I had realized that this was a daily occurrence that I hadn’t noticed before.

I had no friends.

Granted, I realized that it was mostly my fault – I hadn’t been acting like much of a friend myself lately – but still… for them to be so rude!

But that was the thing, wasn’t it? I was my fault. It had always been my fault.

It was my fault that my friends didn’t want me.

It was my fault that my father didn’t want me.

It was my fault that my mother didn’t want me.

And, most importantly, it was my fault that he didn’t want me either.

I wasn’t good enough for any of them, and now I realized it.

They didn’t want me. Well, that was fine. I could understand why they didn’t want me. I wasn’t good enough; I never had been, just as I had always suspected. And so I made my decision.



I drove home slowly after school.

It wasn’t that I was trying to avoid what I was planning on doing; I merely wanted to take everything in one last time. I had driven this route subconsciously for so long I had stopped taking in the everyday sights.

As I drove through town, I noticed that there was snow on the ground, though I didn’t recall any day of snowfall. Granted, I couldn’t recall much from between… then… and now. The shop owners were also all putting up decorations and lights. Was it close to Christmas? I dimly remembered Mrs. Newton saying something about it a few days ago at work, but I hadn’t taken it in at the time.

Sooner than I had thought, I was parked outside of my house, my engine off, staring out of my windshield and toward the front door.

Taking a deep breath, I grabbed my school bag off of the passenger seat and flung it over my shoulder, getting out of the truck and slamming the door behind me.

I walked up to the front door and silently slipped inside, throwing my school bag down against the side wall. When I walked into the kitchen, I paused, torn between wanting to just get it over with and preparation. I had to leave some kind of explanation for my actions, didn't I?

“Don't do anything stupid,” he had said. Well, he didn't have to worry about that. If no one wanted me, it was the most logical choice to take myself out of the picture. I was going to do everything the right way. No mistakes.

With that I made my way over to the junk drawer and pulled out a pad of paper, a pen, and a few envelopes, and then took a seat at the kitchen table.

There were only four people who I felt the need to explain myself to; the first two were Charlie and Renee.

I didn't put a lot of effort into their letters; I told them how I felt, and that I was sorry for not being a good enough daughter. I told them how much I had always loved them, and that I did not blame them for not wanting me now. I apologized again... and then I sealed the letters away, marking one for Dad and the other for Mom.

The next two letters would take more effort and more courage to write; they were for Alice... and Edward.

I swallowed. It was the first time I had allowed myself to think his name since that night. I shook my head forcefully, as if to clear it, and then forced myself to start on Alice's letter.

Dear Alice,

What can I say to the best sister in the world?

Though you're Bella Barbie sessions were annoying and aggravating, I enjoyed spending time with you. You were my best girlfriend, and the sister I always wanted.

I wish I could have seen you, laughed with you, been annoyed with your constant habit of raiding my closet and slipping in your own choices one last time.

Please, do not feel bad about this, though. I was never good enough for him; I always knew that.

On that note, I ask one last favor of you, Alice: look out for him for me, please. Make sure he finds someone who he can love without holding back, who will love him just the same, if not more. He deserves the utmost happiness; I never have, nor ever will contest that fact. I love him far too much to hold him back in any way.

Thank you, Alice, for everything.

Love,

Bella

With a deep sigh, I put the pen down and sealed Alice's letter away, addressing her name to the front. I briefly wondered if she would ever see it, but something told me that the Cullen’s would eventually come back to Forks, and even through there was no guarantee that she and Edward would get their letters, the small possibility comforted me.

I took a moment to call on all of my courage, and with another deep breath, I picked up the pen again.

Dear Edward,

I am not angry with you.

I want you to know that first and foremost, before anything else. I am not angry with you, nor have I ever been. You did what made you happy, and I want your happiness above all else, so I cannot blame you for leaving or be angry with you for it.

I hope you find the greatest of loves some day; someone you can love fully and wholly, no holding back, but most of all I hope that she can give you the same love in return. I hope she loves all of your little habits – even the bad ones. Like the way you get a little too protective when someone has an inappropriate thought about her or maybe the way you have a tendency to pinch the bridge of your nose and run your hand through your hair when you're frustrated or angry.

I can see you now, so clearly in my mind's eye, doing these things as if you were really here in front of me.

Ironically, these images are soothing to me right now, whereas just an hour ago I was unable to think of even your name without feeling like falling apart.

Please know that I have thought this decision completely through, and it is completely my choice. Do not blame yourself or anyone else. I want this.

I will always love you, Edward. Forever.

Bella

I folded his letter carefully and then sealed it away, just as carefully. Slowly, I wrote out his name on the front of the envelope, and when the ink was dry, I dropped a gentle kiss to it – my last goodbye.

I was ready.

I arranged the letters evenly on the kitchen table, and then stood up and headed upstairs to the bathroom.

Charlie had headed to work right after dropping Renee off at the airport, and so I didn't have access to his gun – not to mention that he had started locking it up when he was home now – but that was okay; I wouldn't have used it anyway – too messy.

But I knew where the sleeping pills and rat poison were.

I wasn’t one for pain, so I figured if I took enough sleeping pills before I took the poison that I would fall asleep before I could feel the effects. I didn’t want to feel myself dying – I just wanted to sleep… and never wake up.

Rummaging carefully through the medicine cabinet over the sink, I found Charlie’s Lunesta prescription, and shook it. Sure enough, the sound of quite a few pills rattling around met my ears. Charlie only used these when he was called out to investigate scenes where a body was involved; he was never able to sleep on those nights. Thankfully, the small town of Forks wasn’t privy to much death unless one of the elderly citizens passed away, so he didn’t have much need for the pills.

Twisting the cap off, I shook out six pills into my palm and then closed the bottle back up and put it away exactly where I found it, and then turned and headed back down to the kitchen.

Setting the sleeping pills down on the counter, I bent down to rummage through the cabinet under the sink, where all of the chemicals were and quickly found the large tub of rat poison and hefted it up onto the counter; it was heavier than I thought it would be. When I opened the lid, I was surprised to see how… innocent-looking it was. Just white, grainy powder – almost like sugar or salt – but I could smell the edge of chemical to it, and it made my nose wrinkle.

I reached up into the top cabinet and grabbed a glass, going to the sink and filling it with water. I scooped the sleeping pills back into my hand and, one by one, popped them into my mouth and washed them down with the water. I finished the water and then waited for about ten minutes to give the pills time to start working, and when my brain started getting fuzzy, I knew it was time.

I took my empty glass and walked over to where I had placed the poison, and swiftly dipped the glass into the powder, filling the glass a little less than third of the way. Combined with the sleeping pills, it would be enough.

I went back to the sink and filled the glass with more water, taking a spoon and stirring it around to get it to dissolve. When it looked decent enough, I took in a deep breath, pinched my nose, and chugged the water-poison mixture down as fast as I could.

It tasted awful and burned my throat, and I gagged a few times, spilling some of the liquid down my front. When there was no more water left, I pulled the glass from my lips, gasping and fighting the urge to vomit. But there was still some un-dissolved powder in the bottom of the glass, and I would be damned to waste any, so I filled the glass with more water, swirling it around a little and then chugged it down the same way I had the first.

When I had swallowed the last drop, the glass slipped numbly from my fingers and shattered on the floor, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. My head was really fuzzy now, and I was fighting with my eyelids, trying to get them to stay open long enough for me to make it to my bed.

Weakly, I began to stumble my way towards the stairs, using the walls and railing on the stairs as my support. When I made it to my room, I collapsed onto the bed, without even bothering to get comfortable.

I was staring blankly at the ceiling, odd, fuzzy shapes forming in front of my eyes, bright colors starting to explode in front of me, almost like what happens when I press on my eyes too hard, only so much brighter. My chest felt oddly tight, like a weight was being pressed onto it, and it was little hard to breathe. My fingers and toes felt tingly, almost like they were asleep, but not as painful.

Despite all of this, I could feel myself relaxing into the drug-induced sleep, and I stopped fighting with my eyelids and let them flutter closed.

With a last conscious breath, I felt Death’s cold arms embrace me.

And then there was nothing.



The first thing I noticed was that I was hot – not burning, just hot. I could feel the sweat on my forehead and on the back of my neck.

The second thing I noticed was that I hurt. All over. It felt like every muscle in my body was being stretched too far, and then, just as they were getting used to the stretching, were being let loose again causing the awful pain that was wracking through me. And my head was pounding so badly that I was afraid it would explode.

This observation led me to my third: I could feel my body shaking and twitching violently in awful tremors. I tried to lift one of my hands, but something was tangled around it – a wire or something – and I noticed that my whole body felt very heavy, so I wouldn’t have been able to lift the hand anyway.

I’d just decided to open my eyes to see if I was in Hell or not when the fourth observation made itself known: I was going to throw up.

But my body was so heavy that I couldn’t do anything but lay there and let my body force the contents of my stomach up through my esophagus, and out of my mouth. I felt the hot, thick substance force its way past my lips and down my chin. Unable to turn my head, I started to choke as I struggled to breathe without aspirating my stomach contents.

Suddenly, before I could start to panic, I felt an arm gently wind around my shoulders and lift me into a sitting position, and then a pair of hands was just as gently clearing my mouth and airway, and then cleaning up the mess on my face with a damp cloth.

When my gagging had ceased and my nausea had passed, the arm that had been holding me up, gently laid me back down, and then a hand was on my forehead, gently pushing some sweaty bangs out of the way in a very soothing manner. Past the slowly decreasing rushing sound in my ears, I could catch bits and pieces of a soft conversation.

“…is she?”

“…don’t… yet. She… damage. We… how… mentally… er.”

“What… done?”

“Don’t… lf… on. She… choice. You… ucky… ime.”

A new voice entered the conversation then.

“Charlie’s here.”

Charlie? Here? In Hell? Why would he be here?

Before I could make much sense of anything, I felt something soft and cold press gently into my burning forehead, and a moment later the sound of a door opening and closing. Gentle hands were back to brushing their fingers through my hair, but they felt different from the ones before; smaller, more feminine.

I forced my eyes open.

“A-Alice?” I gasped, staring up at her in painful shock; if she was here, then that meant that I was still—

“Oh, Bella,” Alice gasped, her face twisted in such a way that it gave the impression that she might be crying, through no tears spilled from her eyes. Her hands moved from my hair and forehead to my cheeks and she gently – so gently, it was barely there – leaned down and pressed two soft kisses on each cheek above her hands. “We were so worried.”

We? But then I noticed another being on the other side of the bed, the one who had held me up when I was vomiting.

“How are you feeling, Bella?” Carlisle asked, gently rubbing my shoulder where his hand was braced in case he needed to help me sit up again.

How was I feeling? Confused, for one; disappointed for another. Didn’t they know me enough to know that once I made a decision it was pretty damn well solid? If I wanted to die, then I wanted to die, damn it!

But I decided that Carlisle had meant for me to tell him how I was feeling physically, so I swallowed back the bitter comment that had been on the tip of my tongue; I’m pretty sure he knew what I was going to say though, by the way he furrowed his brow and his eyes tightened in worry.

“I hurt,” I said, and as I said this I realized that my body was still shaking and twitching, and that the pounding in my head was nearing apocalyptic. I bit my lip against a sob, and tried to raise my shaky hands to press my fingers into my forehead, but that one hand (my right one, I realized now) was still tangled in something, and I looked down to see what it was. Ugh, an IV, of course. My stomach rolled.

Carlisle must have read the expression on my face, because I was sitting up again with a bucket under my face before I could even register trying to do it myself.
When I was through evacuating my stomach contents, I rubbed my eyes with the back of my left hand, trying to scrub the tears away, but unable to stifle the hiccupped sobs forcing themselves from my chest. I blinked my eyes open blearily as Alice started to clean my mouth with a damp cloth. In horror, I noted that what she was mopping up was staining the cloth black.

“Wh-what is tha-at?” I sniffled, my eyes wide, and head pounding. My hearing was getting sharper the more I woke up, and I was starting to realize that the slightest noise echoed around in my brain very painfully. It didn’t help that I could hear my heartbeat pounding in my ears and what sounded like muffled yelling from out in the hall. I cringed back into Carlisle’s arms, trying to get away from it all. He held me gently and rubbed my back, trying to soothe me.

“It’s charcoal,” he said quietly, and I was grateful that he had seemed to notice the problem with the noise. “It counteracts the effects of the poison and cleans it from your system.”

I stiffened, and then a sob broke free from my chest, “No!”

I collapsed completely back into his arms, pressing my face into his shoulder, my eyes squeezed shut, and sobbing hysterically. There was no hope then, was there? I was going to live whether I wanted to or not (and I did not). Didn’t they understand? Didn’t they realize? And it would only be harder when they left again. It might not have been so bad if they had come to save me and then stay, but I knew better. And it wasn’t like he was here, so it would have only made a small difference if they did stay in the first place. They didn’t want me, just like everyone else didn’t want me.

“Why?” I sobbed, my body shaking forcefully. I could hear a rapidly increasing beeping noise somewhere in the background, and I noticed the muffled yelling in the hall had ceased and there was the sound of another door opening and closing with a little more force than there had been before. “Why did you come back? Why did you save me? I don’t want to be here! Why didn’t you just let me die?!”

“Bella, please calm down,” Carlisle begged me, wrapping his arms around my own as I tried to claw at my own skin, trying to get away from everything. “I can’t give you a sedative, Bella, it will react badly with the other chemicals in your system. Please calm down; you’re going to hurt yourself.”

“I don’t care!” I sobbed, trying to fight against his unbreakable hold. “I want to die; please, please let me die.”

I felt Carlisle lift his head a little and heard him hiss, “Do something” to someone. Did he mean Alice? What was she supposed to do?

“No,” I heard Charlie say harshly, and for a moment I thought he was telling Carlisle that he would not help me. My body lurched and twitched in pain and wracking sobs. “I don’t want him near her. I should arrest him for even looking at her.”

“Charlie, if it weren’t for him, Bella would be dead by now,” Carlisle said, anger in his voice. I didn’t know who or what they were talking about, and I could hardly bring myself to care as I struggled more desperately in Carlisle’s arms.

“It’s his fault she’s like this in the first place!”

“Let me go!” I shouted, not caring about their stupid argument. My head pounded and my body thrashed and I could feel the IV in my arm threatening to be ripped out. Carlisle was forced to loosen his grip on me a little, lest I hurt myself against his stone form. I took advantage of that and felt around for the IV tube, forcefully ripping it from my arm.

Carlisle’s arms were immediately tight around me again, and I sobbed hysterically in frustration and pain. I could feel the blood dripping down my arm where the IV had been pulled out, and I could smell the awful stench of it, causing my stomach to roll, but I forced it down by screaming and sobbing louder. I also happened to discover my legs in that instant and started kicking in every direction trying anything and everything to speed my death up.

“Fine,” I heard Charlie mutter reluctantly.

In less than a second, I felt someone grabbing my legs and holding them down long enough to climb onto the bed with me and straddle my thighs, trapping my legs between their own, and then Carlisle was passing my upper body off to them. I tried to fight against the person, but they held me to their chest firmly, one arm wrapped securely around my arms and back, preventing me from moving, the other gently stroking my hair and forcing my face into their shoulder. I felt them moving their head down so that our cheeks were gently pressed together, their lips resting against my ear.

I sobbed and fought and tried to push away from this person, my eyes never opening. I didn’t want to see or feel or hear. I just wanted to die.

“I just want to die,” I cried, begging anyone to understand. “Please, it hurts; please.”

I heard a choking sound next to my ear and with a shock I realized that the person holding me was sobbing too. Why? Why should they care about me?

But I felt the person place a gentle kiss against my ear and a moment later, I was stunned into submission by the sound emanating from the person’s throat.

My lullaby.

His voice.

I immediately stopped my struggles, though my body still twitched and trembled with the effects of the poison. I hesitantly opened my eyes and was met with the sight of his unmistakable bronze hair out of the corner of my eye. It took me a moment to realize that this was real and that he was here with me, but when I did, I didn’t think on the why’s or how’s. I just closed my eyes again and buried my face into his neck, crying softly. He tightened his arms slightly around me and began to rock me slowly back and forth, his lips dropping gentle kisses onto my ear, cheek, and neck, the actions never causing his humming to break.

After a few minutes, I felt a gentle tugging on my right arm, and I realized that Carlisle was taking advantage of my calm and examining the damage that I must have caused when I pulled the IV out. I felt him clean the blood away and bandage the wound. When I felt him rubbing an alcohol swab on a different spot on my arm, I cringed further into Edward’s arms, knowing that Carlisle was going to put another IV in.

“Shh, Bella,” he soothed me (my memory had done his voice no justice), stroking my hair and kissing my neck. “It’s all right; everything’s all right.”

I cried out when Carlisle stuck me, and he apologized quietly while Edward started humming my lullaby again.

“Why don’t we let them have a moment?” I heard him address whoever else was in the room. Alice and Charlie… was there anyone else? I hadn’t looked around much and I had pretty much forgotten about Alice and Charlie too in the middle of everything.

“Absolutely not!” Charlie raged, and I swore I could actually hear his face turning purple in his rage.

“I need to speak with you anyway, Charlie,” Carlisle urged softly, and Edward stiffened in response to something in his father’s thoughts.

“But—”

“I’ll be right outside the door, Charlie,” Alice interrupted. “I’ll be there if anything happens.”

There was silence and then I heard Charlie grumble a short consent followed by the sound of shuffling feet and the door opening and closing again.

Edward stayed straddled on top of me, cradling me against his chest and rocking back and forth.

After a few minutes – when I felt sure this wasn’t a twisted hallucination – I hesitantly raised my shaky arms to wrap around his back. I didn’t care why he was here, only that he was here, and that, for some reason, seemed content to hold me and pretend to care.

But I didn’t get far before I felt the new IV tugging on my arm and my stomach rolled again, and I was unable to hold it down this time. Luckily, Edward seemed to sense what was going to happen before I could throw up on him and was holding the bucket from earlier under my chin without me realizing he had ever moved.

He held my hair back with the hand that wasn’t supporting the bucket and gently rubbed the back of my neck as I emptied my stomach of more of the chalky, black charcoal. When I was through, I leaned my sweaty forehead against his cool chest, hot tears sliding down my cheeks and gasping for air.

He put the bucket off to the side somewhere and then I felt his fingers under my chin gently urging me to look up at him. I hesitated, afraid to look at his face when I knew he was just going to leave again after this was all over, but my desire to see him, take him in one last time won out over my fear.

I lifted my head.

He was even more beautiful than I remembered. His gorgeous bronze hair was tussled in the most breathtaking way, as if he had run his hands through it a hundred times. He had deep purple bruises under his eyes (which were dark as pitch), indicating that he was thirsty, and he had a thousand different emotions running through his eyes: fear, happiness, guilt, self-loathing, and – dare I say it?

I felt him wiping my mouth gently clean with a wet cloth, and as he did this he slowly leaned forward until our faces were mere centimeters apart.

I didn’t know how to react to this – I didn’t know what he was doing – so I let my eyes flutter closed and relaxed into his embrace, waiting for him to make a move. He could drain me dry in this moment, and I wouldn’t have cared as long as I was in his arms.

His lips – cold, hard, and soft all at the same time – gently pressed to my forehead. Then my left eyelid, then my right. Next my left cheek, then my right. My nose next, and finally hovering over…

“My Bella,” he breathed, his sweet breath causing my already non-existent thought processes to be shot to hell.

And before I could process his declaration, his lips were firmly on mine, kissing me with unadulterated passion and – the emotion that I had been afraid to admit I saw in his black eyes – love.

But he didn’t – couldn’t – love me, could he? Maybe he just felt guilty that I wasn’t strong enough to go through life without him; that I would have rather died.

Despite my lips already responding to his, I couldn’t stop the sob that forced itself from my chest at this revelation.

He only held me tighter, and kissed more passionately, his body trembling almost as much as mine – he was sobbing too, I realized with a shock.

Eventually, I had to come up for air; he seemed to realize this at the same moment that I did, and gently receded with the intensity of his kiss until he was placing separate, small, chaste kisses against my lips, allowing me to breathe yet never losing contact with me.

Slowly, I opened my eyes again and was met with his own onyx ones and, indeed, he looked as if he would be crying if that were possible. He rubbed his thumb gently over my trembling lower lip, and opened his mouth to speak, closed it again as if he’d thought better of it, then shook his head and opened his mouth again.

“I lied, Bella.”

My heart lurched and I stared at him with wide eyes. I didn’t understand – what did he mean he lied? About what? About loving me? I already knew that, so why would he need to reconfirm it?

“I don’t understand,” I spoke quietly, my voice scratchy and timid.

His body convulsed, his shoulders heaving as if he were suppressing another sob, and he closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against mine.

“I lied, Bella,” he repeated in a whisper, his voice wavering. “I lied when I left. I didn’t leave because I didn’t love you – I left because I love you. I left to protect you – and, in the process, hurt you far worse than any bloodthirsty vampire ever could. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

I froze (as much as my trembling and twitching body would allow, anyway) and tried to get my slow brain to process what he was trying to tell me.

He lied? About not loving me? So that meant that he did love me? My head pounded and I cried because I didn’t know what else to do.

“Oh, Bella,” Edward sighed, pressing kisses to my face, chasing each tear away with his adoring lips. “Please forgive me, my Bella. I am so sorry. I am the most wretched being in the universe to have lied to you like that – I’ll spend the rest of forever making it up to you… if you’ll let me…”

He trailed off uncertainly, leaning back to look me in the eyes, fear plain in his expression at my possible rejection.

I would never be able to reject him.

I ignored the IV and threw my arms around him – nearly ripping the tube from my arm again – and crushed my lips back to his, trying to show him without words that I was his, and only his, whether he reciprocated the sentiment or not.

He seemed shocked into stillness for a second before he responded with equal – if not more – enthusiasm, one arm wrapping around my waist while the other tangled itself into my hair.

As we kissed, I took the time to think of all that had passed, and thinking with this new notion that he loved me, I realized how horribly selfish I had acted by trying to take my own life. What I had I put him through? What had I put everyone through?

Slowly, I broke away from him, both of our breathing heavy and ragged. I was slightly pleased when he tried to chase after my lips when I pulled back, but I put a hand up against his lips to hold him back (not that I actually could if he didn’t want me to), and he stopped, opening his eyes to stare at me in shock.

“I’ll forgive you,” I whispered, and his face lit up, “if – ” his face fell, a look of fear replacing his previously happy expression; I couldn’t stand that, so I hurried on. “If you can forgive me for putting you – and everyone – through this.” More tears leaked from my eyes as I thought on my horrible actions again. “I’m so sorry, Edward.”

He didn’t say anything, but swept me into another mind blowing, loving kiss, its intensity probably able to melt the sun.

We didn’t need words. This was our absolution.

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A/N:

And that was part one. What do you think? Part two coming soon!