Man Without A Voice

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Man Without A Voice

Post  durrtaco on Tue Oct 27, 2009 11:29 pm

WARNING: Teen


With bloodshot eyes I walk this terrain,
in this unrelentless rain.
As I hug my weapon to my chest,
I run on without rest.

Now I need some answers to my prayers,
but noone's there.
As the sun sets and night begins,
tonight lives will end.

As I calm my mind in the rain,
and blood flows from the men in pain,
and I don't have a choice.
Because I'm a man without a voice.

The land ahead is empty, yet so full of misery.
War has come here once again.
Lives destroyed, families broken
Hope has long ago left this place, yet we still walk here.

I see bodies all around,
but noone makes a sound.
Families murdered, people shot,
all left here on the ground to rot.

Whole villages burned to the ground
Lost children that are waiting to be found
So much blood it makes a stream,
there is no hope for them it seems.

As I calm my mind in the rain,
and blood flows from the men in pain,
and I don't have a choice.
Because I'm a man without a voice.

We find a traitor helping an innocent,
and now his life is spent.
All I can do is kill,
and make blood spill.

Bare is the land I walk upon
For all that once blossomed here has now perished.
Sent here to help, but I see none of it
I want to go home, But they wont let me go

My head filled with orders,
the pupeteer controls my hands.
I try to stop, I try to scream.
But I can't do a thing.

They say I will be honoured when I return,
But I won't feel honoured in any way.
Hopeing, someday, this will all go away,
But I know these memories will stay.

As I calm my mind in the rain,
and blood flows from the men in pain,
and I don't have a choice.
Because I'm a man without a voice.

As I walk down the road alone,
I avert my gaze from the blaze.
No one left, no one saved.
No one to turn to, nothing more to do,
except cry for the lost souls in the rain.


Last edited by durrtaco on Thu Oct 29, 2009 12:31 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Welcome!

Post  Journey Lynn on Wed Oct 28, 2009 12:22 am

Hey there, thanks for joining Annabel Lee!

I think this is my favorite of the lyrics you submitted so far. They're all very dark! And that's not a bad thing, naturally, it's just a bit overwhelming. XD But this one stands out for me, I'm not sure why... it feels like it has a bit more purpose, more commentary on the state of the world, not just one's emotional state...

It makes me think of a war veteran, someone who did their best to protect those he cares about, but who's hands are still covered in blood. You talk about bodies in the streets, and how those with compassion, perhaps for the enemy? are considered traitors... *cough* I could of course be waaaaay off, but in any case this is a very heavy, emotive, and contemplative piece, and I thank you for sharing it with us here at Annabel Lee. :3

I'm really no expert on poetry or lyrics, so I'm afraid I won't be able to offer much by way of critique (and I admit I know not whether you were even seeking such a thing) BUT nevertheless hopefully as the site grows there will be more like-minded people that will be able to help you grow as a lyricist. :3

Best Wishes,

Journey Lynn
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Journey Lynn

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Re: Man Without A Voice

Post  durrtaco on Wed Oct 28, 2009 11:19 pm

Journey Lynn wrote:Hey there, thanks for joining Annabel Lee!

I think this is my favorite of the lyrics you submitted so far. They're all very dark! And that's not a bad thing, naturally, it's just a bit overwhelming. XD But this one stands out for me, I'm not sure why... it feels like it has a bit more purpose, more commentary on the state of the world, not just one's emotional state...

It makes me think of a war veteran, someone who did their best to protect those he cares about, but who's hands are still covered in blood. You talk about bodies in the streets, and how those with compassion, perhaps for the enemy? are considered traitors... *cough* I could of course be waaaaay off, but in any case this is a very heavy, emotive, and contemplative piece, and I thank you for sharing it with us here at Annabel Lee. :3

I'm really no expert on poetry or lyrics, so I'm afraid I won't be able to offer much by way of critique (and I admit I know not whether you were even seeking such a thing) BUT nevertheless hopefully as the site grows there will be more like-minded people that will be able to help you grow as a lyricist. :3

Best Wishes,

Journey Lynn

Oh god! Thank you so much...Very Happy That made my day. Well, most of the stuff is dark yes..xP Just what ive been through. I have more stuff, and hopefully it will grow into a massive collection *.* I just submitted these, they are a couple of my favorites..^^ And actually you got it spot on...;D Thank you so much!! ^^
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